Mirus
by frozencinders
Summary: Curiosity killed the cat, but no cliche metaphors mention anything about a monkey.


Sun Wukong often worried about his friend. At first, he thought Nezha was just playing along with his jokes despite not knowing what they meant, but then he realized the boy was often oblivious to his jokes that didn't have anything to do with violence. Sun Wukong didn't suspect a thing the first time-

_"Man, Susano really spoils you! I bet he's the same way in bed." Sun Wukong had mumbled the last part, chuckling to himself at the absurdity of it._

_"Of course he is!" Nezha had replied. Sun Wukong assumed the true meaning went completely over his head._

-but it was the second time that he grew suspicious.

_"Man, his hand is as big as your head! I can't imagine he's not proportionate!" Sun Wukong waited for Nezha's confused hum as he tried to figure out why he would say that when it was obvious Susano's feet are proportionate to his hands, or something along those lines._

_"All of Susano is big," he simply said, and seemed like he was going to continue until Fu Xi had coughed and changed the subject._

Sun Wukong wasn't worried for any reason as ridiculous as the simple fact that they're both men, he was just concerned about the obvious size difference. He was hardly exaggerating in his joke, and the mystic's hand legitimately was around the same size if not bigger than the smaller boy's head. Nezha seemed happiest around Susano, so he couldn't imagine the boy was in some sort of forced relationship, but he was concerned about how much pain Nezha must go through if his assumptions really were true.

With that thought, knowing full well how terrifying Susano would be if he caught him, Sun Wukong pushed the door to the large mystic's room open as slightly and quietly as possible, just enough to barely peek in. Nezha was smiling, laying on top of Susano with his head on the mystic's tattooed chest. They were, thankfully for Sun Wukong, covered with a blanket, but he also wondered if there would be damages to be seen under it. Unable to stand his curiosity, the mystic monkey carefully closed the door and knocked, faking enthusiasim as he announced himself.

"Hey, Susano!" he called. "Do you know where Nezha is? I've been looking all over the place!"

"I'm in here!" Nezha answered, and Sun Wukong was utterly confused at the boy's quick reaction. He heard shuffling as if the two inside were getting dressed, and Nezha was at the door faster than Sun Wukong expected. He tried to mask his surprise with a smile.

"Uh, hey, what were you doing in there?" he chanced, wondering if there could have been some sort of misunderstanding. Nezha opened his mouth to answer, but Susano placed an arm in front of him as he stared Sun Wukong down, apparently aware of his intentions. The monkey felt a chill go down his spine as the large mystic silently passed them, giving Sun Wukong a look that couldn't be more terrifying if it was made of knives. Sun Wukong then snickered at the internal joke, his sense of humor quickly acting to cover his fear.

"So, uh, what were you two doing?" Sun Wukong asked again, slipping by Nezha to enter the room. He considered sitting on the bed, but immediately discarded that thought.

"Susano says I'm not allowed to talk about it," Nezha said, a mix of confusion and some sort of hurt in his eyes, "I don't get it, but he says people might try to separate us..."

"Uh-oh," Sun Wukong muttered, "I think you'd better tell me. It'll be our secret, nobody else has to know."

Nezha hummed, looking reluctant. "But if Susano said not to..."

"What's the matter, think he'll punish you or something?" he half-joked, quickly realizing he was actually worried. "Since when does he ever punish you?"

"Never! Susano's nice to me," he assured, smiling again.

"So, why can't you tell me? I mean, I'm obviously not gonna try to separate you two. What am I gonna do, poke his toe?" Nezha laughed, and Sun Wukong found himself letting out a slight sigh of relief at the boy's good mood.

"Okay. You know that thing Fu Xi talks about a lot?" Nezha started, moving to sit behind Sun Wukong, who had to turn to continue facing the boy. "Well, I didn't know what he meant, so I asked him, and he gave me this whole long lecture about it. You make jokes about it sometimes, too, I think."

"Yeah, uh... does that mean you two are sleeping together?" Sun Wukong asked, pretending he didn't already know.

"Yes, and I don't get why he wants to keep it a secret..."

"Well, either way, uh... doesn't it hurt?" Nezha hummed, titling his head.

"What? Doesn't what hurt?"

"You know, uh... I mean, he's gotta be a lot bigger than you can... you know, fit." Sun Wukong felt his face heating up and found himself jealous of the way Nezha kept his composure as he realized what the monkey meant.

"No, Susano says he does it right. Is it supposed to hurt?" Sun Wukong let his shoulders drop to what felt like the floor.

"Man, that's a relief. I was pretty worried he was hurting you... uh, not that I think he would, or anything," he added, with the sneaking suspicion that the large mystic in question was standing behind him. He slowly turned to find his gut lied to him, and all that was behind him was a closed door. He sighed, scratching the back of his head. Nezha was, of course, confused by his actions.

"Why would Susano hurt me? You even said he spoils me."

"Well yeah, but-" Sun Wukong interrupted himself with a gasp as it turned out his gut was simply a moment too early in warning him, as the door opened behind him and the monkey turned again. Sun Wukong swore he could feel his heart stop as those gleaming red eyes drifted from him to Nezha, who seemed overjoyed to see him again.

"Go eat, Nezha," he ordered, and Sun Wukong was impressed at the complete lack of tension between the two. Nezha hummed, pouting slightly.

"I don't want to eat. I wanted to train first..."

"There's Gan Guo," he offered, and Nezha gasped and was immediately out the door, his protests forgotten as he ran towards the dining area. Susano couldn't help but smile as he turned to follow the boy, but Sun Wukong was desperate to clear the air between them while Susano was in a good mood.

"So that's your solution to him not liking vegetables, huh?"

"What were you two talking about?" Susano asked, turning around again.

"Cutting straight to the point, huh? Well, uh, I would have asked you, but you kinda left... I wasn't trying to be sneaky or anything, I just-"

"What did you ask him?" Susano repeated, his tone gaining a hint of irritation. Sun Wukong doubted he had been in a more terrifying position in his life.

"Alright, promise you won't get mad, but I kinda asked if you two were sleeping together- NOT because I'm nosy or anything, I was just worried, I mean, Nezha's such a little guy and you're, like, really big, and I was just... worried, alright? I-I didn't think you'd hurt him on purpose or anything, I just-" Sun Wukong stopped talking and attempted to catch his breath as Susano raised his hand in an "alright, stop talking" gesture.

"What made you start worrying? Did Nezha say anything about it beforehand?"

"No, no, no!" Sun Wukong quickly answered, fearful again for his friend's safety. "I just kinda assumed... I mean, you guys could have been doing something else, I just, uh... I mean, you know, you hang around Fu Xi long enough..."

Susano scoffed, smiling slightly. Sun Wukong let a sigh through his teeth as he calmed down.

"Do not push him for details, and do not, under any circumstance, tell anyone else."

"Yeah, uh, Nezha was saying how you wanted to keep it a secret. Something about how you're worried people will try to separate you? What's up with that?" Susano looked off to the side, and Sun Wukong suspected it may have been his rarely surfacing lack of self esteem.

"You're the one who was so worried, can you really not see?" Sun Wukong considered it for a moment, trying to read the mystic's expression.

"Oh, I get it. Well, to be fair, I didn't think you'd hurt him on purpose. I mean, you spoil the hell out of him-" Susano was making eye contact again, and it made Sun Wukong freeze up with a small monkey noise, "I-I'll be going now."

Regardless of the many heart attacks the mystic monkey barely avoided, he was thankful he no longer had to worry about his friend's wellbeing. His curiosity, however, remained unsatiated as he seriously wondered how it worked between those two.


End file.
